Mama’s Phone

The kid is 21 months old but he has figured out how to unlock my screen with a swipe of his chubby little finger. He knows how to press the home button and find the camera icon. Usually from there he clicks on the album and tries to watch one of the 50 gagillion videos I’ve taken of him. “Eee eeee eee” is how he says “videos”. I don’t know why. It’s got the same number of syllables, I guess.

Anywho, I left my phone on the bed while I was showering. (He doesn’t like to shower with me anymore. *sob*)

And picked it up a bit later to find this:









Baby’s first selfies!!!

There were also a couple of videos showing mostly bedsheets, but also parts of his leg, accompanied by heavy, congestion-laden baby breathing.

(That confusing thing I took him to the doctor for last week turned into a full-blown, obvious cold that he’s still working on kicking.)

Mama caught it, too. But I seem to be fighting it off much more quickly.

I’ll post more when we’re both feeling a bit better.


RJ’s Pearls

About 8 or 9 months ago, RJ came across my long strand of faux pearls. He immediately put it around his neck. Which surprised me, because I didn’t think he even knew what necklaces were for. When he first started wearing it, he couldn’t quite put it on right and usually it would just end up draped around him. Now, he usually manages to get it over his head in order to wear it like a proper necklace, but the thing is so dang long it drags on the ground and he trips on it. Like a so:


The pearl necklace quickly became a favorite toy of his and since I never wear it anymore, I let him keep it with his stuff. It will often be forgotten in some deep, dark, toy-bin hole for long periods of time only to be discovered again later. Each time it’s re-discovered RJ becomes obsessed with it all over again for a few days and likes to wear it constantly, until eventually its novelty wears off again and it gets buried amongst all his crap.

Well, this week, the pearl necklace was discovered again, after a pretty long hiatus. He’s been wearing it around the house a lot, and yesterday as we were leaving the house to go on a walk with his pushy-bike, he was still wearing it, as well as clutching his blanky (Mimi). I have a firm rule against taking Mimi out of the house, because that thing gets gross enough indoors and I don’t need RJ dropping it in some dog poo at the park and then stuffing it in his mouth when he goes down for his nap. I told him we’d leave Mimi here and we should probably leave his pearls here too, so they don’t get caught under the bike’s tire and choke him. He readily said “bye-bye” to Mimi but shrieked when I tried to remove his precious pearls. So instead, I doubled them up around his neck, to make the situation a little less hazardous, and we went for our walk.


As I pushed him out the door, I started thinking about some of the pieces I’ve read in the Huffington Post or similar, about moms taking their little boys out with their favorite pink clothing item or sparkly, flowery headbands and the disturbing or surprising things that strangers did in reaction. Visions started flashing through my head of some ignorant asshole calling my son a “sissy” and me going all protective mommy-hen on this unsuspecting stranger and kicking him in the balls. Or ya know…. saying something smart and cutting, instead, because violence is never the answer. But then I laughed at myself because A. we live in the Bay Area and people are pretty tolerant and open-minded around here and B. my son is not even 2 years old and I don’t think anyone really gives a crap if he’s wearing a pearl necklace or not. Oh and C. When it comes to “fight or flight” I’m really more a of a “stand there in shock, thinking really hard about what to do next” type of person so I doubt that sassy comebacks or ball-kicking would be any part of my reaction.

Anyway, the point is, the only thing I expected to hear from the strangers we’d cross paths with, was “Aww, he’s wearing a necklace! How cute!”

We were out and about for at least an hour. Most people didn’t care about or even notice RJ’s necklace, as I suspected. But surprisingly, one man did stop and take a minute out of his day to ask me about it. He was in his mid-forties maybe. He was just getting on his bike and putting his helmet on as we were passing him by.

Him: Is that your necklace that your son is wearing?

Me: Yes.

Him: So it’s your necklace, but he wears it?

Me: Yes, he loves it, so I let him wear it.

Him: He’s only 1 year old or whatever and he likes wearing a pearl necklace?

Me: Yes……. (waiting, wondering what he’s getting at)

Him: Hmm. Okay. Well, have a good day.

Ok, so maybe this wasn’t the exciting drama I’d originally had flashing through my highly-imaginative mind as we left the house, but it was still much more of an exchange than I’d anticipated. No judgment on the man’s part was explicitly expressed and no harsh words or looks were exchanged. But it stood out to me nonetheless as sort of weird and off-putting. I’d have to really read between the lines to infer anything though. So is this worth getting all huffy about? Probably not. Was it even worth a blog post on my humble, little, barely-read mommy blog? Probably not.

When I got home, I tried to look up the huffpost article I’d seen about the kid wearing a sparkly headband at Walmart and getting called a derogatory name. To my surprise, the whole thing is gone and all I found was a buzzfeed explaining that the woman who wrote it was now in a mental institution after expressing suicidal thoughts and huffpost took her article down after some speculation that it may not have been entirely based on true events.

Of course, this all happened over a year ago and was old news. And now I just needed to know the whole story and to try figure out if this mommy blogger really made the whole thing up and was then committed as insane. This evening I did some sleuthing (Ok, I just went to the woman’s blog, I guess that doesn’t count as sleuthing. But it took me forever to scroll back to August 2013, so it felt like a real effort, ok?) I read through the posts she’d written in the aftermath of her post about her son and the headband, and holy hell! One little blog post turned this poor woman’s life upside down! She had threats made against her and her family and had to relocate waiting for the attention to die down. And of course her version of events was entirely different (and probably more true, I’m inclined to believe) than those on the buzzfeed and the awful thread of comments I’d read thereafter.

I officially feel grateful that no one called my son a name for his necklace-wearing when we were out yesterday. Not just for the greater things that says about the people in our community, but also because then I’d have MATERIAL for my BLOG to go VIRAL and all POLITICAL and my life could be TURNING UPSIDE-DOWN with CRAZY-AWFUL right now. So thanks 40-year-old-man-on-a-bike, wherever you are, for not expressing your awful thoughts, that you may or may not have been thinking in the first place (but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren’t), when you asked me those questions yesterday. Annnnnnd I’ll just keep blogging about my cute baby and my reproductive life.

A visit to the “dah”

I took RJ to the doctor today. He’s been exceptionally cranky since sometime last week and occasionally pulls on his ear. He had a fever one afternoon last week but not since then. He’s not teething. He kind of/maybe has a runny nose? But only when he’s crying. Which is often right now. He kinda coughed a few times during the night last night. But wasn’t coughing anymore upon waking this morning. In July I shrugged signs like this off for a long time only to finally take him in for some random rash and find out he had a double ear infection the whole time. So my guilty mommy-memory told me to take him in today, despite the lack of any consistent symptoms.

Spoiler alert. No ear infection.

When I told him we were going to the doctor he was so excited. He pointed to his ears and to his mouth and to his eyes. All the places he knows the doctor likes to take a look at. He walked into the office holding my hand like a big boy and saying “dah! dah!”. And then, as per usual, melted down the minute the nurse wanted to put him naked on the scale, and continued to freak out for the remainder of the appointment. I mean, listen, I wouldn’t be happy about being placed naked on a scale either. But considering earlier today RJ pulled off his pants and diaper and ran around the yard nude and took a dump next to our tree, I’m guessing it wasn’t the naked-and-vulnerable thing that had him upset.

He survived the terrifying visit and was back to his normal self after some cuddles with Mama. And he proudly told Mr. E about his visit with the “dah” when Mr. E came home from work. He had an exciting conversation with Dada about the “dah” looking in his “mow” (mouth) and he and Dada exchanged some demonstrations of opening their mouths and saying “ahhhhh”. So he likes the doctor in theory… just not in practice. That’s the moral of this story, I suppose.

Just wait until I take you for your flu shot next week, baby bear. You’ll never let me drag you near the “dah” ever again.


Toddler in Pursuit of Cats

Yesterday, I was folding laundry and things got eerily quiet in the other room that RJ had run into a minute prior.

I took a peek in and didn’t see him anywhere.

Hmmm… I was almost positive he ran in here and hadn’t come back out yet… And yet… no baby…..

Then I heard whimpering……

From under the bed???………

Ha! There he is!!!!


I wasn’t even aware there was room for a whole baby under there, in amongst our handy dandy, under-the-bed storage containers and random exercise mats that we’ve used maybe one and a half times.

He must have been chasing after one of the cats. Usually, once they seek cover under the bed, they’re safe. Not so, anymore!


Poor cats. They are running out of safe hiding places.

He did freak out for a moment when he decided he was stuck. I took pictures anyway. Cause, hang in there kid, Mommy is having a totally bloggable moment. Smile!

Hey, while you’re down there, can you look around for that poop that went missing awhile back?


He got himself unstuck on his own eventually. Thank goodness, because I wasn’t sure how pulling him out by his arms was going to go.

The cats are fine. They are still a lot faster than him. Especially when he’s belly crawling under a bed.


**Confession: this picture of the cats is almost 2 years old. They don’t really get their pictures taken much anymore now that something much cuter (and needier) than them is running around the house.

Yesterday & Last Year

Yesterday, when we brought RJ to a local Mom’s Club event at a pumpkin patch, I couldn’t help but remember when I brought him to his first pumpkin patch, last year, purely for a photo opp. I didn’t even buy a pumpkin last year. Sorry, just here to take photos of the pumpkins that are twice the size of my baby!!!

I felt a little guilty for not supporting the farm, but I  was riding solo, and couldn’t really figure out how to carry a baby and a pumpkin at the same time anyway.

This year, I had Mr. E. along, and RJ’s doing that handy little thing called “walking” now, so buying a pumpkin wasn’t as much of a logistical challenge. Oh… and the mother’s club paid for one for us… so…. ya know…

(OK I’m kind of cheap and it’s starting to show.)

(Let’s change the subject.)

Today, I decided to take a little walk down memory lane and take a look at last year’s pumpkin patch pictures and compare them to this year’s. Because, I dunno, I felt like pulling at my heartstrings. I invite you all to join along.

Here’s RJ checking out the pumpkins yesterday:

big orange pumpkin little green pumpkin


He really liked that little green one on the right. No matter how many beautiful, round, orange ones we pointed out to him, he kept coming back to it.

Here’s RJ checking out the pumpkins last year:

last year big pumpkin eating pumpkin

Yes, we were apparently still in the stick-everything-you-find-in-your-mouth phase.

Raise your hand if you miss that phase!

Yeah, me neither.

RJ riding in the wheelbarrow yesterday:


Please don’t look too closely at Mr. E.’s outfit. I’m a little overdue on laundry. Either that or polo shirts plus gym shorts are totally coming in this year. Only time will tell.

RJ riding in the wheelbarrow last year:

20131030_113822 20131030_113826(0)

Soooo cute! So little! I just want to pick his old self up and squish him!!!


Totally understanding how everyone says they’re 18 and moving out of the house before you know it.

How can I make him stop growing up???

I’ll give you our free pumpkin if you can tell me how.

I’m going to go sneak into my son’s room, all creepy-like, now and watch him sleep. *sob*

A trip down the stairs



I would like to take you on a little trip down the stairs with RJ and me.

Every trip starts with a fascinating visit to the little blue button on the baby gate latch and an exclamation of “Boo!” (aka “blue”). “Boo, Mama! Boo!”


Yes, baby bear. That’s blue. Just like last time we came down the stairs. And the time before that. Shall we proceed? Mama was hoping to get downstairs to get ready for our grocery store trip sometime in the next century. But I know that if I try to carry you down I’ll be met with a very angry tantrum, so instead we’re going to go down together and enjoy stopping to smell the roses a bit on the way. Yes, I can do this. I can totally be present with you and be in the moment with life. How very healthy and zen of me!

Ok, and we’re off!


RJ likes to make a little “boop!” sound as he gets to every new step. Mama must make this sound too. If she fails to make this sound RJ will stop and point and yell “Mama! Mama! Mama!” until mama complies.

Yes, baby, “boop!!! boop!!! boop!!!” This is totes so fun!!!

Oh wait, Mom, I want to see the little blue button again, hold on.



Blue! Yes, it’s still blue!!!

Come on, baby, “boop” with me back down again!

RJ says “down” a lot also, but it sounds like “die”. So our trips down the stairs are not only filled with a lot of “boop” but also with a lot of strangely disturbing “DIE!!!! DIE!!!! DIE!!!!”

And onward we go, I think by some miracle we’re almost halfway down now!

“Die! Die! Die!”


“Boop boop boop!”




Hey, mom, have you checked out this view of our entry way through the banister?? Hey, let’s pretend to go “night night” on this step now! Will you sing the night-night song? “Mama!! Mama!!!!! Mama!! Night-night! Night-night!!!! Night-night!!!!!!”

This is where the pictures stop, as this is where I gave up (only 5 or 6 steps from the bottom) and grabbed RJ against his will and endured his mini-tantrum as punishment.

That’s actually pretty good. I usually don’t make it past the little blue button.


I’m a stay-at-home mom to a fabulous little toddler boy who came into our lives in January 2013. When I’m not running around trying to keep up with him, I’m consumed with trying to build our family in the face of recurrent pregnancy loss. Miscarriage is such a little-talked-about tragedy; through this blog, my hope is to bring light to a hardship that many families find themselves faced with. And I’ll try to throw a little “GUESS WHO PEE-PEEed IN THE POTTY TODAY!!!” in there too, because, hey… I’m a mom… and my kid is amazeballs and you all need to hear about it. So with that…. look at me and my fantastic kid!!!!! Gush gush gush!!!!!